Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday night in Toronto.
Successfully finished a day in the internal medicine wards on time.
Came back to the condo (which, by another miracle, Alhumdulillah, has been my place of residence for almost 5 weeks now - a wonderful internal medicine resident hosted me - you know who you are and may Allah protect all those with welcoming hearts like yours).
I'll be finished with my Toronto electives this week! Moving on to Hamilton and Ottawa next!
On Team 5 at TGH, which is a pretty awesome crew - i've been lucky. My patients have been lovely these past few weeks. I'm getting more used to this medicine thing - it's nice to finally have the feeling of some clinical confidence.
CaRMS application....what can I say...I'll just leave it at that.
Trying to think if I should go to this Adrienne Clarkson lecture at the ROM tomorrow...hmm, will see if I have the time. Her husband is a total cool cat, John Raulston Saul - must read his writing at some point in time.

Feeling sleepy - i'm post post call today.

Well, the day is done. Time for Isha and then nap nap.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

A  Reflection upon the biased rhetoric in the public & media with regards to Palestine:

“The Prophet (Muhammad) warned us about stature and money. He said that these are more dangerous for the religion of a person than a hungry wolf in the midst of sheep. This is what stops many people in the United States from speaking out about the Palestinian issue. Many people in the US, they know…they’ve got careers, they’re in all these news agencies, or they’re in academia and they know that it’s a death sentence for their careers. So stature is more important to them than truth.” - Hamza Yusuf, Rihla 2014 in Konya, Turkey summing up the tragedy of the so called "educated" people. 
Quick updates for me to look back at some day:

It's Saturday evening. I'm chilling at home with the books. The parents are at the Jazz Festival in Oakville. Broski is downstairs in the basement doing his broski things.
Surgery exams are coming up. Third year is about to finito! InshAllah i'll be off to Calgary in September and so begin electives. The next few months are going to be intense but hopefully fun.
I'm looking forward to being a part of the Massey college community this year. I decided to add my mom on facebook (its definitely made my online world more interesting - especially her "anti-evil" duas which she inserts as comments under my status')
That about sums up most things.

My friends are all busy doing their own lovely things in their own lovely worlds.
Life is coming at full speed and interestingly unpredictable at present. Anxiety, doubt, uncertainty, questions about identity and faith, practically hover over the minds of most of my friends these days. Of course all the seriousness is frequently interrupted by obnoxious laughter, the realization that we are still mentally 5 years old, 2 am ice-cream runs by the lake and the likes.

Here is some relief on that note:

" Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope.”  - From the Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexander Dumas

I pray InshAllah that all my loved ones stay under the protection of Allah (swt) and may He guide us all in the best of directions in all our affairs.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

ER exam tomorrow - of course now is the time that my mind keeps drifting to old memories of my travels to Zambia, Turkey & Iceland. Must post this excellent reading on the benefits of travelling:



It has rightly been said that traveling drives away worries. Ramhumuzi enumerated in his book, The Noble Scholar of Hadeeth, the various benefits of traveling for the purpose of seeking knowledge..He said:

"There is much profit to be derived from seeing new lands and new houses, in seeing beautiful gardens and fields, in seeing different faces and coming across different languages and colors, and in witnessing the wonders of different countries. The peace that one finds under the shades of large trees is unparalleled. Eating in the mosques, drinking from streams and sleeping wherever one finds a place when night comes - these all instill affability and humbleness in a person. The traveler befriends all those whom he loves for God's sake and he has no reason to flatter or to be artificial. Add to these benefits all of the happiness that the traveler's heart feels when he reaches his destination, and the thrill he experiences after having overcome all of the obstacles that were on his way. If those who are averse to leaving their homelands knew all of this, they would learn that all of the individual pleasures of the world are combined in the noble pursuit of traveling. There is nothing more enjoyable to a traveler than beautiful sights and the wonderful activities that are part of traveling through God's wide earth. And the non-traveler is deprived of all of this."


God bless all the beautiful people and sights that I have experienced in my travels so far.  InshAllah may there be new adventures ahead.



Tectonic Plates - Iceland


Walking over glaciers - Iceland


New Mosque - Istanbul, Turkey


Architecture inside Topkapi Palace, Turkey


View outside my residence in Lusaka, Zambia. The picture shows nurses who would come together in the evening to recite their prayers


Sunset over the Zambezi River, Zambia 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Alhumdulillah.
Life is good.
All praise is to God, the Almighty, the Everlasting, the Provider, the Restorer, the Witness...the Resurrector.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Note: This was written sometime in early 2013. Found it and thought why not post it?
Had to change the names of my former classmates in the reflection part of this piece (for privacy reasons). 

Presently, I’m supposed to be studying and listening to the plethora of hematology lectures in the quiet room of the library at Sheridan College.  As per routine, I took a mental break from studying by visiting the library aisles.  I always go to the literature shelves, which are few in number but sufficient for my liking.
I Picked up a random anthology on American poetry, brought it back to the quiet room and sifted through it hoping to come across a new verse. And I did.

The piece is called, The Fire of Drift-wood by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Here is an excerpt:

We spake of many a vanished scene,
                Of what we once had thought and said,
Of what had been, and might have been,
                And who was changed, and who was dead;

And all that fills the hearts of friends,
                When first they feel, with secret pain,
Their lives thenceforth have separate ends,
                And never can be one again;

Ezra Pounds said that in order to understand poetry one must experience life in every form. Then it can be inferred poetry which relates to ones’ experiences reverberates more vividly through the mind.
I could not help but recall the emotions which overtook me at Mr. Letovsky's funeral.  It was strange to see those I hadn’t met for 7 years. To be in the same hallways, that remained unaltered since we graduated, and to feel this strange force a midst my past classmates. An emotion which Longfellow captures with excellence (albeit, I think his poem is more in reference to good friends from the past and not just individuals one recalls from the past, the latter of which is what I was mainly experiencing that day – the former I experience now with friends living abroad).  Nevertheless, it was an uncomfortable feeling to be at the funeral – for the obvious reason being, Iona’s best teacher had passed away (may he RIP) but also when I saw Terry and Jonathan (Gary was there too, unfortunately he seems to have changed in a peculiar manner that didn’t rub off on me too well), I was stuck all of a sudden in the old days - of who I was then and who everyone was around me. I guess I never feel that way with Katrina because we see each other often and have grown together in a manner. This was different – it was an uneasy experience – it reminded me of Time and its works – and how all things lead to one End.

I know I will feel this again. Possibly this summer - Huma and Ripika are coming back and their departure will be incredibly emotional. But, the weight of this poem is greater when time has passed between partings and a reunion then occurs – like at the funeral.

I could discuss more details of the ceremony but I’d rather not – I have discussed the body of the experience. The rest would only serve details for a reader who had not been there and I do not hope to share such emotional states with anyone besides myself.

It’s depressing to realize this passing nature of loved ones  - that one has to acclimate to an environment being constantly perturbed – just another way He tells us that this dunya is created to break the heart and it has no other purpose but that. How can one not yearn for the Hereafter with such signs a midst our lives? how can we not desire the constant presence of our loved ones (devoid of their troubles)? Ya Rabb, I pray that you protect me, my family and my friends in this world and the hereafter – may You make our reunion there.


Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I love this short essay by Tolstoy. Disclaimer: Lol, i'm no anarchist - I love the central message of this work - that we reform ourselves before trying to reform society.


On Anarchy

The Anarchists are right in everything; in the negation of the existing order and in the assertion that, without Authority there could not be worse violence than that of Authority under existing conditions.They are mistaken only in thinking that anarchy can be instituted by a violent revolution. But it will be instituted only by there being more and more people who do not require the protection of governmental power and by there being more and more people who will be ashamed of applying this power.
“The capitalistic organization will pass into the hands of workers, and then there will be no more oppression of these workers, and no unequal distribution of earnings.” [Marxist]
“But who will establish the works; who will administer them?” [Anarchist]
“It will go on of its own accord; the workmen themselves will arrange everything.” [Marxist]
“But the capitalistic organization was established just because, for every practical affair, there is need for administrators furnished with power. If there be work, there will be leadership, administrators with power. And when there is power, there will be abuse of it — the very thing against which you are now striving.” [Anarchist]
* * *
To the question, how to be without a State, without courts, armies, and so on, an answer cannot be given, because the question is badly formulated. The problem is not how to arrange a State after the pattern of today, or after a new pattern. Neither I, nor any of us, is appointed to settle that question.
But, though voluntarily, yet inevitably must we answer the question, how shall I act faced with the problem which ever arises before me? Am I to submit my conscience to the acts taking place around me, am I to proclaim myself in agreement with the Government, which hangs erring men, sends soldiers to murder, demoralizes nations with opium and spirits, and so on, or am I to submit my actions to conscience, i.e., not participate in Government, the actions of which are contrary to reason?
What will be the outcome of this, what kind of a Government there will be — of all this I know nothing; not that I don’t wish to know; but that I cannot. I only know that nothing evil can result from my following the higher guidance of wisdom and love, or wise love, which is implanted in me, just as nothing evil comes of the bee following the instinct implanted in her, and flying out of the hive with the swarm, we should say, to ruin.[1] But, I repeat, I do not wish to and cannot judge about this.
In this precisely consists the power of Christ’s teaching and that not because Christ is God or a great man, but because His teaching is irrefutable. The merit of His teaching consists in the fact that it transferred the matter from the domain of eternal doubt and conjecture on to the ground of certainty. You are a man, a being rational and kind, and you know that today or tomorrow you will die, disappear. If there be a God then you will go to Him and He will ask of you an account of your actions, whether you have acted in accordance with His law, or, at least, with the higher qualities implanted in you. If there be no God, you regard reason and love as the highest qualities, and must submit to them your other inclinations, and not let them submit to your animal nature — to the cares about the commodities of life, to the fear of annoyance and material calamities.
The question is not, I repeat, which community will be the more secure, the better — the one which is defended by arms, cannons, gallows or the one that is not so safeguarded. But there is only one question for a man, and on it is impossible to evade: “Will you, a rational and good being, having for a moment appeared in this world, and at any moment liable to disappear — will you take part in the murder of erring men or men of a different race, will you participate in the extermination of whole nations of so-called savages, will you participate in the artificial deterioration of generations of men by means of opium and spirits for the sake of profit, will you participate in all these actions, or even be in agreement with those who permit them, or will you not?”
And there can be but one answer to this question for those to whom it has presented itself. As to what the outcome will be of it, I don’t know, because it is not given to me to know. But what should be done, I do unmistakably know. And if you ask: “What will happen?”, then I reply that good will certainly happen; because, acting in the way indicated by reason and love, I am acting in accordance with the highest law known to me. The situation of the majority of men, enlightened by true brotherly enlightenment, at present crushed by the deceit and cunning of usurpers, who are forcing them to ruin their own lives — this situation is terrible and appears hopeless.
Only two issues present themselves, and both are closed. One is to destroy violence by violence, by terrorism, dynamite bombs and daggers as our Nihilists and Anarchists have attempted to do, to destroy this conspiracy of Governments against nations, from without; the other is to come to an agreement with the Government, making concessions to it, participating in it, in order gradually to disentangle the net which is binding the people, and to set them free. Both these issues are closed. Dynamite and the dagger, as experience has already shown, only cause reaction, and destroy the most valuable power, the only one at our command, that of public opinion.
The other issue is closed, because Governments have already learnt how far they may allow the participation of men wishing to reform them. They admit only that which does not infringe, which is non-essential; and they are very sensitive concerning things harmful to them — sensitive because the matter concerns their own existence. They admit men who do not share their views, and who desire reform, not only in order to satisfy the demands of these men, but also in their own interest, in that of the Government. These men are dangerous to the Governments if they remain outside them and revolt against them — opposing to the Governments the only effective instrument the Governments possess — public opinion; they must therefore render these men harmless, attracting them by means of concessions, in order to render them innocuous (like cultivated microbes), and then make them serve the aims of the Governments, i.e., oppress and exploit the masses.
Both these issues being firmly closed and impregnable, what remains to be done?
To use violence is impossible; it would only cause reaction. To join the ranks of the Government is also impossible — one would only become its instrument. One course therefore remains — to fight the Government by means of thought, speech, actions, life, neither yielding to Government nor joining its ranks and thereby increasing its power.
This alone is needed, will certainly be successful.
And this is the will of God, the teaching of Christ. There can be only one permanent revolution — a moral one: the regeneration of the inner man.
How is this revolution to take place? Nobody knows how it will take place in humanity, but every man feels it clearly in himself. And yet in our world everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy
1900